I’ll Fly Away
I’ll Fly Away
It’s time to quiet the drumbeat of fear the world keeps pounding in our ears and replace it with reverberations of the power of the gospel and the truth it proclaims that Jesus has conquered sin and death.
I love underdog stories. I’m always inspired by real life accounts of someone who faced insurmountable odds and was able to overcome them. I like to picture myself in that story, conquering my obstacles and coming out victorious. Unfortunately, I spend most of my days feeling like a prisoner of my own body. I have been in a twenty year battle with chronic illness that seems to be getting the upper hand in my life. So many activities I used to enjoy have been slowly stripped away by my disability. Some days I feel like Jenny in the movie Forest Gump who knelt in the tall grass outside her abusive father’s home and prayed, “Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly far, far far away.” I think it’s a natural human instinct to want God to rescue us from discomfort and pain, but God’s agenda is not like ours. In His perfect, patient love He has our eternal best interest at heart; He is much more interested in making us holy than making us happy or healthy. I am learning to enter into God’s agenda and trust Him through this process of becoming holy.
Nothing peels back the layers and reveals the desires of our hearts like hard times. When faced with pain, loss, and the non-stop news cycle of gloom and doom how does your heart respond? It’s only human to have initial waves of grief, anger, and fear, but we can’t let that be the only drumbeat we listen to. The world tells us that we deserve to be happy, feel safe, and be accepted for who we are, but Jesus calls us to die to ourselves, take up our cross and follow Him. This message of self-denial is antithetical to the ways of this world and counterintuitive to our own instincts for self preservation. It’s the message of the gospel. I used to think the gospel was something we were commanded to share with others (and it is), but now I realize it’s so much more than that. We have to hear it spoken over us again and again, we must be able to articulate it and speak it repeatedly to ourselves and others. When we do this, we start to unlearn the patterns of this world and begin to embrace the pattern of the gospel. This gospel pattern teaches us to identify with Jesus so deeply that we consider our wants, desires, and even our political, social, or ethnic identity to be crucified with Him on the cross. The new life we live once we put our faith in Christ is one that is fully surrendered to God, ready and willing to do His will. (Galatians 2:20)
The apostle Paul had every reason to put his confidence in his own religious accomplishments and accolades, but when confronted with the gospel he counted them all as loss for the surpassing worth of knowing Jesus. He proclaimed,
“For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish in order that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith - that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and may share His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.” - Philippians 3:8-11
Paul understood that in order to know the resurrection power of the gospel he had to also experience suffering and death. I once felt disoriented by the struggles and pain God has allowed in my life. I wrestled to understand why my loving, sovereign heavenly Father was letting me suffer when I knew He had the power to heal me. Then it occurred to me that it is through my struggle that God is writing the most beautiful version of my story.
This epiphany is starting to change the way I view my illness. I used to cringe inwardly when I would catch a glimpse of my reflection walking with my cane. I have made a practice of making others walk in front of me because of how self-conscious I feel when they have to watch my strained and awkward gait. Now I sense God stripping away layers of shame from my soul. This is my story and I am learning to embrace it. Trials and suffering are part of God’s economy. They are the crucible by which He most effectively refines us. James tells us to consider it pure joy when we encounter trials (James 1:2-4). Peter echoes a similar sentiment,
“In this you rejoice, though now for a little while if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith - more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire - may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” - 1 Peter 1:6-7
Our trials are not a cosmic oversight, they are part of God’s divine design. God doesn’t waste our pain, He redeems it. I used to fear my future and the unknown of how this disease will play out in my life. Now I honestly rejoice because I see my story through the lens of the gospel - knowing that my suffering will purify my faith and result in God’s glory. I don’t look forward to the physical decline that’s inevitably ahead for me, but I eagerly await the intimacy and communion with the Lord that it will bring. My trust and confidence is that one day God will use my story to cause others to also put their hope in Jesus. There is no higher purpose in this life.
I have come to realize that trials do for our faith what running a diagnostic test does for our car. They give us a picture as to what’s really going on under the hood. When faced with trials and uncertainty, we must ask ourselves, to whom and to where do we turn for help? To be honest, I was confused by the response so many Christians had to the pandemic. I saw fear, isolation, and division spread through churches. Satan sifted us like wheat. I understand that we may not align on every issue, but as Christians there are some fundamental common denominators that ought to prevail. One of the most central benefits of placing our faith in Christ is that we no longer have to fear death. Through one man, Adam, Satan undermined God’s original design and sin and death entered the human race. Our story shifted from freedom to bondage - but thanks be to God - He didn’t leave us there. The author of Hebrews testifies of how Jesus has released us from our servitude to sin and fear,
“Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, He Himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death He might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery.” - Hebrews 2:14-15
When we put our faith in Jesus, God rescues us from the domain of darkness and transfers us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. (Colossians 1:13-14) What does it look like to have these heavenly truths play out in our earthly lives? We can live with peace and confidence in the midst of trials and uncertainty.
In our humanity we will all experience anger, grief, and disorientation when faced with loss and tragedy. Jesus understood this. That is why He wept with compassion when He saw the grief of His friends Mary and Martha. He knew in just a few moments He was going to resurrect their brother Lazarus from the dead, yet He still took time to feel and relate to their grief and pain. That’s the kind of Savior we have. He is kind, patient, and empathetic toward our struggles. Likewise, I want to grant so much grace to you wherever you are on your journey, but I also want to offer a loving challenge to you. When faced with wars, pandemics, infringement of freedom, sickness, tragedy, or loss, what is your response? Are you fearful? Do you get angry with God and question His goodness toward you? To where and to what do you look for comfort and help to make sense of what you are experiencing? If we look to news and other worldly outlets for answers we will find ourselves on shifting sand. Instead we need to remind ourselves of the pattern found in the gospel and the power it makes available to us.
“But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.” - 2 Corinthians 4:7-10
It’s time to quiet the drumbeat of fear the world keeps pounding in our ears and replace it with reverberations of the power of the gospel and the truth it proclaims that Jesus has conquered sin and death. We have an incredible opportunity to be living in such a time as this; an opportunity to share the light, love and hope we have in Jesus Christ. Are you willing to let God use your story and transform whatever struggle you’re facing into a beautiful testimony for His glory?
I am not afraid to die. Like the little girl in Forest Gump who wanted to fly away from her troubles, I am eager to fly away to heaven, knowing with full confidence that Jesus is preparing a place for me and will welcome me with open arms when I arrive at my heavenly home. Not because of anything I have done, but because of what He accomplished on the cross on my behalf. I resonate with the joyous refrain from Albert E. Brumley’s famous hymn, “When the shadows of this life have gone, I'll fly away; Like a bird from prison bars has flown, I'll fly away” . I don’t know how long I will have to live in this broken body of mine, but I do know that this is not the end of my story.
“For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: ‘Death is swallowed up in victory.’ ‘O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?’” - 1 Corinthians 15:53-55
Whatever you are facing today, I pray that these reminders will add some oil to your lamp and help you stand firm, take courage, and face whatever tomorrow brings with confidence and peace.
